


Watching You (In Your Shadow)

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Depressed Draco Malfoy, Depression, F/M, Heartbreaking, Heavy Angst, M/M, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, POV Draco Malfoy, Pining Draco Malfoy, Sad Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 10:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11918610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Draco watches in Harry's shadow. He watches everything pass by. Because that's all he has the courage to do.





	Watching You (In Your Shadow)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The dialogue between Pansy and Draco is from a dialogue prompt from Tumblr.

He watched him in the halls.

He watched Harry Potter stroll through the halls of Hogwarts, laughing freely with his friends without a care in the world. He watched him pull his school bag more securely over his shoulder so it wouldn’t fall. He watched him run his fingers through his messy, raven hair when he was feeling flushed or tired.

He watched him in the Great Hall.

Draco watched the Gryffindor prop his chin on top of his palm, as he listened intently to the conversation he and his friends were discussing during breakfast. He watched him scramble to his seat, quickly pulling out a piece of parchment, and start writing hastily at the edge of the Gryffindor table as he procrastinated. On other days, he watched him push his plate to provide space for him to put his head down and have a few moments of rest, because the poor boy had too much to handle.

He watched him during the weekends.

Whether they were just passing through the hall, or they unintentionally make eye contact when they bump into each other in Hogsmeade, he always saw Harry. Draco watched him saunter along Hogsmeade with Ginny. He watched him happily talking to her, with occasional laughs in the midst of their conversation.

He watched him in the library.

He watched Harry work by himself on a lonely table, sometimes just staring out the window and daydream. He watched Ginny slowly slide into Harry’s life, each day becoming a Ginny and Harry library session, rather than just Harry and his lonely table. Draco watched himself grow into jealousy— another burden he had to carry.

He had watched him in a relationship.

He watched Harry proudly hold hands with Ginny in the halls. He watched Harry hug her before they depart for class. He watched Harry look at Ginny with eyes full of compassion and love, something that Draco wanted for Harry to look at him that way. But it was also something that he knew he would never get.

It was now the 7th year in Hogwarts. And he was still watching.

But it was not like before. Draco watched, with a new burden over his back every year. They were filled with heart break, angst, and bitterness. But he still kept watching. He still pined after Harry. Of course he did.

Because even if he was charged with jealousy, heartbreak, and sadness, it was all he ever had. Watching Harry was why he woke up every morning, even if it was also why he had a blank look in his eyes and a pale face.

So he continued to watch Harry step into a new something every year. A new relationship with Ginny. A new anniversary. A new, happier glow in his face.

“You’re going to have to stop that,” said Pansy one day, as she wore a worried expression when she caught the sight of Draco’s lifeless face.

“Stop what?” Draco mumbled as he turned the page of a book he was pretending to read.

“Pining. If you aren’t going to fix it, you might as well let him go,” She said softly.

Draco had replayed that conversation over and over again in his mind. He was torn between letting Harry go or to continue to pine after him.

So after many days of deciding, Draco had decided to let him go when he had seen Harry the happiest he had ever looked in his entire life. _He’s better off without me,_ Draco thought, _What am I saying? He had always been better without me. I have never appeared important in his life. Not once._

But he just couldn’t bring himself to let go. He was always watching him, even without Draco noticing himself. It was an obsession; it was unhealthy.

Draco ran back down, going back to the Slytherin Dungeon and forgetting about his classes. He was so desperate to get away from this depression; he wanted so badly to climb out of his dark hole.

He had finally reached his empty dormitory, standing at the edge of his bed with his wand raised on a shaky hand. He gave one last goodbye, as he formed mental images of Harry laughing, smiling, and talking. A tear slid down his cheek as he opened his eyes, ready to Obliviate himself.

“Damn you, Potter,” He whispered shakily. He pointed the wand to himself.

“ _Obliviate._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a random spurt from my mind. I just kept typing as the words came out and I had ended up with this. Yes, this was very painful to write, since I usually end my stories with a happy Drarry ending. How was this fic to you?


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